Barack Obama is NOT a sign of the devil

Hello faithful reader(s). Sorry I haven't posted in a while (or a month). The last 3 weeks have been ridiculously insane. More on that later...but suffice it to say, when Obama was talking about change, he had no idea how much he meant it.

Speaking of Obama...WOOO!!!!! Yep he did it...I cast my ballot, I played my part. Yay! I'm not really writing now to celebrate his victory, however. I'm actually going to share something with you. This is a note I posted on Facebook the other day. I wrote it mainly in response to some disparraging comments and Facebook statuses I saw immediately following the election. I apparently got an overwhelming response to it (phrases like "spot on," "intelligent," and "the most elloquently written tapestry I've read" were thrown around) so I guess I hit some truth behind it.

I had sorta hoped the issue at hand had maybe been laid to rest (when in actually I guess I've just been too busy to turn on the TV in 3 weeks, so I just have been distractd from it) so I wasn't going to comment further. But that was until I saw this in the paper today. Then I knew, I had to share it further!!

So...for those of you who do not have the benefit of being my facebook friend...enjoy!

________

This note started as a response to a message a friend sent me. It seems there's been a lot of buzz on Facebook following the historical and monumental election on Tuesday. Many people, particularly Christians, are calling for the end of the world or something now that Barack Obama has been named our President-elect. I'm not sure if it's because he's a Democrat, because he's black, because his middle name is Hussein, or if there's something else out there, but it appears some people are upset. (I'm going to choose to believe that none of my friends are actually ignorant enough to still believe he's Muslim).

After writing the response, I considered sending it to another friend who had a status something implying that the world will end now. Buuuutttt....again, it was a bit too long and he was not the only one with such a message, so I thought I'd put it out there for everyone...here goes:

Wow....just...wow! I'm fine with people supporting candidates different than my own. I know everyone voting had different priorities and considered issues differently. But saying the election of Obama is the call of the apocalypse?

Let's look at the two options put before us as believers:

John McCain, a man who committed adultery many times while married to his first wife (after she'd been disfigured in a car accident) and even met and began dating his second wife while still married to his first; who's current wife has amassed her own personal wealth from the beer distributing company her father founded, and who until the recent campaign, remained ambiguous and dodgy about his faith at all. A man who claims to be a faithful Baptist, but even his own staff continues to errantly put in his bios that he's Episcopalian (without his correction) and who was recently quoted in an article as saying "he is not "born again" and has not been baptized. He says he is "just a Christian," who for many years has been attending the North Phoenix Baptist Church in Arizona with his family."

Barack Obama, a man who is committed to his (one) wife and children, who regularly attends a church that believes only in God and in salvation through His only son Jesus (yes, the church focuses on African Americans and openly serves that body as a congregation- perhaps even to an extreme sense to many...but that does in no way take away their love for Jesus or Biblical foundations, it simply gives them a focus of people to minister to), and who has never shied away from or hid his commitment to God and His Word even as his own Pastor came under great national scrutinty.

How would John McCain be a better President for Christians? Because he's Republican? Because he claims to attend a Southern Baptist church?

Perhaps many Christians are hanging their hat on the fact that McCain vows to overturn Row v. Wade (something that numerous much more religiously convicted presidents have either not acted on or acted on unsuccessfully) while Barack Obama will affirm a woman's right to choose how her personal beliefs should lead her with her own body. To that I have only one real thing to say...do I think abortion is right? NO. Do I hope and pray that every woman would choose the life of her child over any other option? YES. But those are my standards as a believer. They come from the Bible and are applicable to all those who subscribe to the tenets of Christianity. Unfortunately, all of America does not subscribe to those tenets. So instead of continuing to try to force Christian beliefs and morals on non-Christians, trying to make them live holy lives, without the benefit of the saving grace of Jesus and the wisdom of the Holy Spirit, perhaps we should focus our efforts more on the salvation of those who don't agree with us through the love of Jesus than the way they are living their lives without Jesus. I guarantee that if we as Christians put more effort into the salvation of nonbelievers than issues such as abortion will almost never come about because saved people will desire to live holy. In the meantime, "Sinners sin, that's what they do" so its futile to try to make them stop sinning without first helping them to stop being a sinner.

On that note...I don't understand how John McCain was a vote for Jesus and Barack Obama was a vote for the apocalypse or evil or for not Jesus (Ed. Note-in light of the above referenced article, I should also add to that list that a vote for Obama seems to get you kicked out of heaven some how). Since when does love and tolerance and respect for others equal evil and depravity? I'm pretty sure Jesus ministered to everyone.

I should add that the message I was initially responding to was from a "strong Republican friend" who sent me a message of outrage over the disparaging status and comments on a mutual friend's page. She noticed his (and others') outrageous comments and I took the liberty of responding for her. The comments I've seen/heard did not just come from that one person's page, or I would have simply responded directly to him, but are ones I've heard echoed more times than I'm comfortable with, so I decided to make a public statement.

Also, I should finish my note by saying that the appropriate response for any believer at the election of a new President is to surround him with constant prayer...all the more so if the person is someone with whom you do not agree for whatever reason. Instead of bashing any leaders or elected officials or "writing off" America, the Bible reminds us to pray for all of our leaders. Pray that they are surrounded with wisdom and Godly counsel, that they lead with integrity and righteous action, and that they have the grace and strength to complete the arduous task before them. You don't have to like him, but you do have to pray for him. I guarantee you that many many Christians everywhere have just spent 8 years praying for a leader with whom they frequently disagreed.

It really doesn't matter at this point who you supported in this election - after January 20th, 2009, Barack Obama will be your next President. That's not changing...this was in no way a close race, but instead was a mandate from the American people leaving nothing to question. With that said, you have two options: hate your country, the people leading it, and the people in it and sit around waiting for the dark horsemen of the apocalypse or you can cover our great land in prayer, asking God to preserve our country and the earth we live in so that all may come to know Him. I'll let you decide which option is the more Christian one to choose. If you truly believe that Barack Obama is a sign of the apocalypse then it is your job as a Christian to be the salt of the earth for its preservation.

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Alright...there it is. Comment away! :) Good, bad...agree, disagree...whatever...just add your thoughts.

Pardon my French, but....

..."Does my ass look like the damn K-Mart?"

That is actually what I said after hanging up the phone this afternoon. Honestly...some of our residents at work are insane with their demands. They seem to mistake the Leasing Office at The Crazy Farm with the Concierge Desk at the Ritz Carlton New York.

For instance, one of our particularly high maintenance residents called in one weekend with an "emergency" maintenance request and asked me to call in the on-call maintenance tech (who lives a half hour away) to fix the problem. What was so urgent that it couldn't wait until Monday? His icemaker didn't work and he said "This is very important. We use a lot of ice." hahaha...apparently the 3/4 mile drive to the gas station to buy a bag of ice for the weekend was out of the question.

In another instance a couple weeks ago I had this phone conversation with a resident:

Me: Thank you for calling The Crazy Farm. this is Mark. How can I help you?
Caller: Hi, I'm a resident here and I was just wondering...when does daylight savings time change?
Me: ........... What?
Caller: Daylight savings time. Does that change this weekend?
Me: No.
Caller: Oh, I thought that was in October sometime. When is that?
Me: Ummmm....I don't know. They moved it back this year........Hang on, lemme ask.
Me: (randomly shouting out to the entire office) When is the time change?
Random person yelling back: (Mama Bear I think) Halloween weekend.
Me: (on the phone) Halloween weekend.
Caller: Oh, okay. I thought it was sooner. Thanks!
Me: (after hanging up) Do these people not have Google?

Sometimes I don't understand what goes through people's heads when calling us. As though we just sit there waiting to do everything for them. And that leads me to the reason for today's outburst. Here's how the call went:

Me: Thank you for calling The Crazy Farm. This is Mark. How can I help you?
Caller: Hi. I'm a resident there and I was wondering if you had any AA batteries up in the office I could come get from you.
Me:..................
Me: Forrrrrrrrrrrrr?? (thinking perhaps his smoke detector or other necessary item might need batteries for which we'd be responsible...despite the fact that I think all of our smoke detectors are hard-wired)
Caller: Oh, I just have a remote for a device that needs batteries and didn't know if you might have some I could get.
Me:.......... Uh, no. We don't have any.
Caller: Oh, okay. Thank you.
Me: ( Hanging up the phone and announcing to the office staff around me) Does my ass look like the damn K-Mart?

Now, keep in mind when I tell you this...it's not exactly like our community is out in the boondocks miles away from modern conveniences for our residents. No, quite the contrary. In about 3.4 miles this resident could have driven his behind to Target, Wal-Mart, Publix, Lowe's, or Kroger. And In fewer than 2 miles he had his choice of a CVS, Walgreens, and any of 3 gas stations, among other stores. But no...he calls the leasing office to see if we have any for him. Seriously???!!! You can tell it was a full moon!

I work at the Crazy Farm!

I don't think I've mentioned it on the blog yet, but about 3-4 months ago I got a new job in property management. I do on-site leasing for one of those big apartment communities that you probably lived at in college or just afterward. I love my job- I really do -but I definitely refer to it as the Crazy Farm (as it shall henceforth be called on this blog). You see...we have some crazy residents on a crazy property. And all of us on staff are a little bit off too, haha. Any job in property management is a least a little bit crazy...it's always fast paced, every day is different, you never know what you're gonna encounter, and you always have some special people who live on your property. But our community, is a whole unique breed. We're not really sure why, but it is leaps and bounds above all others in craziness. Several members of our staff who have worked at other properties before have all commented on separate occasions "I thought we were [crazy/hectic/busy/insert adjective here] at 'X' property, but we had NOTHING on this place!"

My joke since almost week one has been that we need a reality show around that place! Everyone agrees. I've mentioned before...I need to make a call to Bravo because America would be glued to their TV sets watching us run in circles around that place! The hard part would be editing it all down to only one hour per week!

The cast of characters:

• A former coworker (who would have just left the show, but she still appears from time to time): the blonde hair, the fake boobs, the fake tan...the girl had enough personal drama to earn her own spin off when she left. Oh, and she was a single mom too. Well call her Barbie. I've already briefly introduced you to her here.
• Coworker 1: the black lesbian single mom. She's off the chain for real! She started out really shy and ditzy...saying things like "what's legal paper?" and "I don't know how to make coffee." and, my personal favorite "I don't know how to use a paper cutter." She's come out of her shell quite a bit and just acts crazy. Still our source of entertainment, we call her a blonde stuck in a black girl's body. We'll call her Lipstick (b/c she's a lipstick lesbian).
• Assitant Manager: the 50 year old woman who's also the office veteran having been there for over 3 years now. She spent almost 10 years working at a biker bar before and is still a bit rough around the edges. She tends to over react to most everything and also can jump into hyper-mom mode, trying to take care of everything. But at the same time, we NEVER EVER EVER know what's gonna come out of her mouth. She's missing that certain filter you're supposed to have between what runs through your mind and what comes out of your mouth (probably because of all the drugs she has done/does...seriously). Usually it's something dirty and inappropriate, but always entertaining. She'll be Mama Bear.
• Manager: the overly energetic ringleader of us all who is incredibly random and full of quirks. She's half white and half Thai and runs around the office laughing and screaming about whatever. She has no boundaries whatsoever with us and keeps a healthy dose of crazy around the place. I don't really have a nickname for her, so I'll just call her HNIC for now. If you don't know what that means, ask somebody...preferably somebody black (but make sure it's someone you know well, haha).
• Head Maintenance Guy: the crazy Puerto Rican man that runs around the property supposedly keeping everything running smoothly. In true Puerto Rican fashion, anything you ask him to do, you're going to get an argument back from him. But...he usually goes ahead and does what you want anyway, after the argument. The residents love him for some reason, but he just tells them exactly like it is. He's been on the property for like 8 years and they all know him. His name will be Papa Bear (no relation to Mama Bear...that's just what people call him in the office).
• The New Coworker: Barbie's replacement. This is only her second week working with us, but she seems to fit in well with our crowd. Although she'd been working at another property before us, she's really young (19 I think). She's still in school too, despite working full time with us. Since she's so new, I don't have a ton of stories about her yet (although she did manage to drive into our entrance gate this afternoon because she didn't even realize we had one...right in front of Mama Bear and our courtesy officer), but I'm sure some will come. For now, I'll call her The Young One (subject to change).

By the way, I've been told my character would be that of the slick salesman who comes in all suited up in the shades and all and can sell to anyone and close a deal regardless, haha. Kinda true...which is helpful since part of my pay is from commissions, lol. There's also a couple other maintenance and corporate people who are around. They're typically more minor characters, but I'll introduce them as stories arise.

Add to this mix all of our crazy residents...many may earn nicknames as I share stories. We seriously have some that come into the office or call us at least 3 or 4 times a week for something and they're all crazy! haha Some are a good kind of crazy that just entertain us, others are a high maintenance kind of crazy that annoy us, and others are just a rude and demanding kind of crazy that actually piss us off.

So yeah...since I'm sure I'll be blogging plenty about this place, I figured I needed to set the stage and introduce the characters to you. Stay tuned for outrageous insanity, haha!

Fall has....fallen?

Ahh, it's finally fall around SC. The weather has a certain crispness to it (which is an actual tangible crispness...unlike the "fall" we had in Florida, where anyone who's not lived there for at least 10 years and hardly knows any better would even realize the season changed). Temperatures are consistently in the 70's during the day, 50's at night (great sleeping weather, btw), the skies are consistently bright blue with just a few wispy white clouds. Tailgating and football entertains all Saturday every week (and give us something to talk about during the rest of the week). Actually...this is the South...football does more than entertain once a week, football is the basis of our entire schedules. Work functions, social outings, even weddings are planned around the football schedule. (Seriously...try to get married on game day and people will very truthfully be mad at you and will likely not come...great way to keep the reception budget limited though, haha).

Oh...and another real sign that fall is in the air in SC...the State Fair has come to town! Okay okay...anyone who really knows me just scratched their head in confusion. I do not, in fact, like the fair. I've really only attended once or twice before. All of my friends will confirm that I don't in any way care for large gatherings of loud dirty rednecks or country/ghetto people. And everyone knows that a fair is the breeding ground of such people (seriously...they go there to find dates...ugh). No one likes to people watch more than me, but even I have my limits. Of course, on top of the people there...there's really little else to draw me to the fair. The food is grossly unhealthy (I believe I've blogged about the various fried products available...bread, pickles, ice cream, oreos, Pepsi...yes, even fried Pepsi), the country music acts usually are people I've never even heard of or simply don't care about, the rides...well, if portable roller coasters were really a viable option, Disney World is grossly overspending. Be that as it may, the coming of the Fair certainly does mark the onset of fall better than most other ways.

These are the days I live in SC. The weather, the fun, the relaxing! Yay fall!!

Is this affecting you too?

http://www.thestate.com/statewire/story/537108.html

Probably not if you're not in the Southeast, or at least not in North or South Carolina. But still...it's pretty ridiculous.

Not only are motorists in SC and NC paying the some of the highest amounts in the country per gallon of gas (which is even worse considering we have just about the lowest taxes on gas in the country and are therefore typically the lowest priced gas) but at a lot of places here, you can't even find it at all! Basically since Ike was threatening to come through Texas, back in mid-September, we've had a horrible gas crisis here. If a station has gas it all, it's pretty much guaranteed to not have all different octanes, which leaves you driving around town for a while looking for enough for your tank (if the station will even let you fill your tank...many are capping motorists to $50 at a time, which is about 12-15 gallons max).

Last time I went to fill my tank I only drove past 2 or 3 gas stations that were completely out of gas, and only had to wait in line for 5 minutes or so to fill up, but before that I saw as many as 6-8 stations with no gas at all, plus several that only had higher octanes before finally finding one with good old 87 octane. Of course, there was a line there too.

Honestly, its kinda counter intuitive to me that a storm which reports show did little or at least less than expected damage to the refineries should still be affecting us so greatly nearly a month later! I mean, lets think about this...first of all...the Texas refineries sit right on the Gulf of Mexico. Should we expect and prepare for storms in this area and maybe have a back up plan, other than just cutting off the pipeline to southeastern states? If we didn't before, after 2005 we certainly should have had something in the works. Secondly, the official reasoning for our continued shortage is that "pipelines and refineries are still not up to full capacity" and are expected to take another 3-4 weeks to hit that point. I'm not oil expert, so I can't really assess the truth-value of that statement, but if they're able to shut them down and empty the pipeline literally overnight (2 days before the storm it was business as usual, no increased prices, no shortages, etc., but the day before the storm prices skyrocketed $1 or more overnight and suddenly everyone was out of gas), they why on earth does it take a month and a half or longer to get us out of the woodwork? And don't blame it on people hoarding gas. There is no possible way people can be hoarding gas for this amount of time. Did people go fill up their tanks before the storm out of fear? Possibly, but that was a month ago...I guarantee all that gas has been used by now. We're back to normal usage (or possibly below because of increased prices, etc.) by now for sure. I just don't get it!!! Arrghh!!


NOTE: I originally started writing this post last week, but fell asleep while doing so. I sorta forgot about it and never finished until now. So, here ya go...you get it a week later!

A fitting end...

...to such a horribly flawed and troubled administration.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/bush_markets

Since I am unfortunately not at a place now where I have any investments, or even retirement for that matter, and I'm not in a position to be getting a new loan for cars or houses or anything else in the near future, part of me wants to just say "Forget it...let Wall Street sort itself out. The people who were greedy and unwise with their money of the last few years should suffer with the rest of us." But...the compassionate Democrat in me can't let that happen. Not so much because I have compassion for Wall Street, but because I know the damaging effects will trickle down to people who are already so desperately hurting as it is.

I don't know what the answer is...I haven't followed the economy closely enough, not to mention I only had one Economics class in college...and HATED IT!! (Partly because it was all based in theory and nothing in reality...I need practicality, folks...and partly because I just really strongly disliked the professor.) Whatever the case, something needs to be done, but it needs to be done cautiously. We've all seen what happens when people get caught up in excitement and fear and blindly listen to a certain Texan and his advisors.

You all know behind whom I've thrown my support, but regardless of the outcome, January 20th cannot come soon enough!

UPDATE: I forgot to say earlier...My favorite part of the article is how Bush was "tracing the origins of the problem back a decade." I didn't actually see the speech, and am currently too lazy to look for it on YouTube, so I don't know how skillfully or craftily he built this argument, but it is a convenient way to shift the blame just far enough away to make it look like someone else's guffaw (a recurring theme). Now I'm not naive enough to say 100% of the blame for this (or any other of our current problems) squarely falls on the Bush administration, nor am I saying there may not have been contributing factors predating the 2000 election which may have led up to this, but over the last 7 and a half years, our economy has gone through a whirlwind of changes that just 2 years ago many in Washington considered a major feather in their cap. Honestly? Enough crap...time for some people who make sense at 1600 Pennsylvania.

Live on location

I'm blogging to you from Memphis, TN right now. Sitting in my hotel room. Came up here for a training thing for work, so it should be an interesting week. Maybe some good blog fodder will come from it. Who knows! :)

Where's Mark been?

Hey! I think I mentioned in a recent post that things have been kinda crazy lately and that I would be filling you in soon. Well I guess soon is gonna right now.

About 3 weeks ago, one of my coworkers had the day off and we get a call from her saying she's leaving, can't give a two week notice, just has to pick her daughter up from school and is moving back to her parents' out of state. We have a pretty small staff at work, so we're kinda like family there anyway...so naturally we were concerned. Apparnently her boyfriend and she had gotten into an argument the night before (she found out he was cheating on her....again) and it turned physical. He ended up beating the crap out of her (again) and she was done.

We talked her into coming by the office that afternoon before leaving. So after she picked up her daughter, she came limping into the office with a black eye and all. She had some vacation time saved up so we talked her into taking her vacation to go to her parents and figure out what the best plan of action was. Of course we wanted her to stay, but we all knew the best thing for her and her daughter would be to go back to her parents' and her support system rather than staying up here and trying to make it on her own.

After her week off, she called to officially put in her two week notice so she could leave on a good note and move on. But...she still had to work out her final two weeks back here in SC so she had to come back. Obviously she wasn't going to move back into her (now ex-)boyfriend's house and getting a hotel for 2 weeks would have ended up costing her more than she would have made over those two weeks. So, since I live alone in a two bedroom house, I offered up my guest bedroom (her daughter was staying with her parents during this time). So...for the last 2 weeks, I've had a roommate here. Obviously she had a lot going on trying to take care of her final details up here and filing a police report against the scum bag and everything else, but we took the opportunity to go out and enjoy plenty too, lol.

All in all, it was a good time...she and I get along really well anyway so we had fun, but it was kinda a long and crazy 3 weeks dealing with the beating and all. She took pictures of all the bruising after it all showed up and she looked horrible. I mean covered in bruises! Of course, the ex filed some bogus report saying he told her he was tired of her being drunk all the time or something and she didn't take it well. He accused her of flipping out, locking him in the bedroom and beating him up, haha. We got a kick out of that considering she's all of 108 pounds standing about 5'6" and he's a big navy boy, haha. Oh, he also alleged that his roommate (a former navy boy) was a witness to this beating...as though between the two of them combined couldn't pull my coworker off of him, lol. I think he ended up withdrawing the report, or at least never pressed charges on it.

So yeah...that's been my last few weeks. Honestly...there are very very few people in the world I actively dislike. Almost no one I have such a distaste for that I really don't think I could even be in the same room with them. Or if I were out some where and ran into them I couldn't at least just ignore them and go about my business. But now there's definitely one person on that list in her ex bf. It's obviously a horrible thing that he beat her black and blue, broker her toe, everything else...I mean that's enough of a reason to hate the guy. But what's worse is he did all this while her 6 year old daughter was "asleep" upstairs and heard all this going on...I mean, that's the kinda of stuff that can scar a kid for life! Even more so...he had been cheating on her for a while, but was always around looking like the doting boyfriend through it all. He threw my coworker a birthday party last month and invited everyone from work over...trying to look all sweet, all the while he was messing around on the side. He basically pissed me off even more b/c he was acting like a nice guy trying to get me and everyone else to like him while he knew he was a dirtbag. If I had seen a dirtbag before, it'd be one thing...but to play us all like that? Ridiculous. Honestly...he's a little punk and if I do see him again, he'd better hope I'm not behind the wheel of a car...that's all I'm sayin!

...And it's only Monday!

Hey kids...still around. Things have been a little crazy lately. I'll fill you in on some of those details later. But right now...I thought I'd give you a quick summary of my day just to remind you that my life is still incredibly random! haha

So yeah...my day in a nutshell...


bloody stairs, dime bags of crack, talks of a promotion, super-glued penises, squealing golf cart tires, orthopedic shoes, myspace stalker/future roommate, The Hills, and Donovan Marcelle doing Tina Turner on Showtime at the Apollo


I'll have to fill you in on more specifics later...but it's waaay too late here. Oh, and the sad part? All in all, this really wasn't all that random of a day for me. Always something colorful...always something exciting! haha

Admission is the first step...

When I'm flying down the road at 15 or 20 over the speed limit, weaving in and out of traffic, flying through every yellow light to make it to the liquor store before it closes...maybe I should take it as a sign that I might have a problem. hahaha

Actually...I do have a problem. But that problem is not alcoholism, it's Blue Laws. See, lovely SC has some holdovers from their ridiculously conservative days (like last week, haha) known as Blue Laws. Basically they're just laws that enforce morality. Don't get me wrong...I tend to fall on the more conservative side of the tracks as far as morality is concerned (well...for most of the world, maybe a bit less so compared to SC), but these particular laws often just irk me.

The main law in question now is one requiring all liquor stores to close by 7 pm every night and not open at all on Sunday. 7:00???? Are you serious?! I guess the goal is to keep the drunks from heading to the store at 2 am and buying some malt liquor or something, but in reality, it just causes people to have to plan their drinking in advance. (Oh...for the record, I arrived at the store at 7:02, but they hadn't locked the door yet, so they let me run in and grab what I needed real quickly. I guess it might have been illegal, haha...I'm a bootlegger now, maybe!)

Last night being the USC Season Opener (that's Gamecocks...not Trojans...don't front!) (and I'm talking football, by the way), I had to grab a little adult beverage to take to my boss's house to watch the game. I picked up a bottle of my new favorite drink....Sweat Tea Vodka!! Seriously folks...it doesn't get too much more Southern than this, I know...but this stuff is great. If you live in the South, check your local package store and see if you can get it. This stuff is dangerous too. It tastes JUST like sweet tea...you don't even realize you're drinking until you go to stand up and things are a bit wobbly. Wow...it's great!

Anyway....other blue laws include: (In certain counties) nothing other than groceries and health and beauty products are allowed to be sold before 1:30 PM on Sundays. So that means Saturday at midnight, all the Super Wal-Marts have to rope off the non-grocery/health & beauty sections until 1:30. Also, I hear rumor that in certain counties, up until a few years before I moved to SC, you couldn't even go to the movies on Sundays b/c that was considered sinful or immoral or something. Ugh!!

Oh...and in case you were wondering, South Carolina shut out NC State 34-0!!! Whooo Hooo!!!

Those Mischievous Republicans!

A true crime occurred last weekend! Grand larceny in my opinion (although hardly even a crime in the eyes of the law, but that's beside the point). I was robbed!

At some point between when I returned home late Friday night/early Saturday morning and about 3ish in the afternoon on Saturday when I was wandering around my front yard, someone stole my Obama yard sign!! I know!!! Shocking! The literally just picked the sign up off the stakes and carried it away. So depressing!

Haha...I got the image of some geriatric John McCain supporters on their Rascals rolling by and being mischievous, posting videos on YouTube or something. In reality, though, it was probably just some of the neighborhood hoodlums that come from the next neighborhood over and walk down my street to get to the stores and stuff. I think assuming there were some political motives behind the thievery is giving the perpetrators far too much credit, but I can believe!

On that note, I'm sitting here watching the opening of the DNC. I don't think I ever mentioned it on the blog (it was during my summer hiatus) but, following the heated primaries, I decided I needed an election break before losing my mind (or be one of those crazy obsessed politicos with nothing else to do with his life). I decided then that I would virtually ignore the campaigns until at least Convention time and then hop back on board for the remaining 3 months. Guess I'm back on board (and ready to order a new sign).

Overheard at Taco Bell

Remember my obsession with Taco Bell? Well I was having lunch there today and I overheard a Rhodes Scholar at the table behind me. She was chatting with her boyfriend at a volume loud enough for pretty much the entire restaurant to hear. Here's a few highlights from her chat:

"See that sign that says '79 cents makes sense'? Shouldn't it say c-e-n-t-s instead of s-e-n-s-e? Isn't that what they meant?"

"Ooh, I saw a typo on the Closed Captioning the other day." (which, as we all know, is practically the MLA standard of writing) "Well, at least I think I did. The Korean woman was asking why she couldn't find (something) and they put the question mark outside of the quotation marks. I think I was always taught they go inside the quotes. But maybe that's wrong."

I think there were others, but that's all I could remember...and all I could stomach before my lunch was done. It's nice that she was kind enough to share her genius with the entire restaurant. I'm sure we all needed something to blog about today. Although I think I wondered more about the guy who was there with her. I mean, how could he really sit there and listen to that kind of high brow conversation day in and day out without going insane? I could only imagine what might come out of his mouth, haha.

Only Mark 2.0, or Beta, or something

Yeah, I don't really know all those technical software terms, but the point is, I'm back. But, since I doubt anyone still reads this at all, we'll call it a relaunch, haha. (sounds much more exciting that way anyway)

Sorry for the lack of activity. I think I really just ran out of things to say, lol. I was looking for a new job for a long time and, without a job to go to and without a ton of money to go out and live a life, there really just wasn't that much happening for me to write about, lol. At least not the kinda of stuff I was posting all over the blog.

But...now I have a new job. Been doing it for a little while now and I love it. I swear most days that it needs to be a reality show. Some of the crazy drama that goes on there...haha...Bravo would eat it up! Seriously, I don't think we could ever get our corporate office to agree to it, but it would be waaay better than that stupid "Stagers" show they have. (Sidenote...when I went to Bravo's website to link to that show, I couldn't find it. Was it that bad that they are already denying making it? haha) I mean, my work place is just about as colorful and exciting as Jeff Lewis's office, but we have a bunch of clients to add to the craziness, lol. I'm sure you'll hear more little tidbits about my work in the near future, but the point is I really do love it. And even when there's drama and craziness, for probably the first time ever, I actually enjoy going to work everyday.

So yeah...after an extended summer vacation, it's time to get back on the horse (or wagon...or whatever...I'm really bad at colloquialisms...always mess them up) and get back to writing.

If you're still reading (or even if you never read before and just started) leave a comment and let me know!

Welcome to my life...

So I was hungry just now and went to the pantry to find nothing I really wanted to snack on. I had half a bag of chocolate chips in there leftover from...well who knows. Anyway, having no food I thought briefly "Oh, I'll just make some cookies...that could be tasty (in like 2 hours when I finally finished...and knowing me...they probably won't be all that tasty)."

So, I start reading the back of the bag to see what all I need to make cookies. Turns out, I didn't have about half of the ingredients, so I scrapped that idea.

Now I'm sitting on the sofa snacking on...half a bag of chocolate chips! haha

Stereotypes are fun......

.....especially when the complete opposite happens.

So I'm in Atlanta last week, rolling through Buckhead, up Peachtree. Weather was nice, windows were down.

I pull up at a traffic light next to this black guy in a convertible. I was rather annoyed because the music coming from his car was so loud I had to turn up my radio just to hear what I was listening to in my car.

Yep, he was blaring Michael Buble so loudly that it interfered with the rap music I was playing in my car.

I laughed at the irony.

Still alive...

...don't worry.

I'll be back soon, I promise!

Lame Cop Out Post

Alright...I recognize this isn't a real post. But, for some reason, I'm still not feeling like getting around to writing about all the life I've been living lately. Sorry...I guess I'll just have to write a big summary post for you soon to cover it all at once.

In the meantime, I thought I'd keep you entertained with this cop-out post. Someone sent me this list as an e-mail forward this week (FYI...I don't like e-mail forwards, so don't let this give you any ideas) and I thought I'd share it with you. It's one of those "You know you are.......if..." lists that people like to make. This one is "You know you live in Florida if..." or something like that. I guess overall it's fairly accurate. Some are pretty funny, some are definitely a uniqueness to FL (#14, #26), while others are probably a little more general for other places as well (#24, #34). Some of these items seem to tailor this list more specifically to the central Florida area where I'm from (#37, #41), while others just don't seem to make much sense for anywhere (#13, #32).

Anyway...I've realized (when I do post) so much of this blog has become more about the boringness of my day to day life and I want to begin adding in some of the fun nuances and differences between life in FL and life here in the South. Maybe I'll dig up a list of the South to sort of compare and contrast, haha. Well...here's the list...those of you from Florida, feel free to add your comments and thoughts! :)


1. Socks are only for bowling.
2. You never use an umbrella because you know the rain will be over in five minutes.
3. A good parking place has nothing to do with distance from the store, but everything to do with shade.
4. Your winter coat is made of denim.
5. You can tell the difference between fire ant bites and mosquito bites.
6. You're younger than thirty but some of your friends are over 65.
7. Anything under 70 is chilly.
8. You've driven through Yeehaw Junction.
9. You could swim before you could read.
10. You have to drive north to get to The South.
11. You know that no other grocery store can compare to Publix.
12. Every other house in your neighborhood had blue roofs in 2004-2005.
13. You've gotten out of school early on Halloween to trick or treat before it got dark.
14. You know that anything under a Category 3 just isn't worth waking up for.
15. You dread love bug season.
16. You know what a snowbird is and when they'll leave.
17. You think a six-foot alligator is actually pretty average.
18. You were twelve before you ever saw snow, or you still haven't.
19. 'Down South' means Key West.
20. You think New York drivers licenses should only be valid in New York.
21. Flip-flops are everyday wear.
22. Shoes are for business meetings and church,
23. but you HAVE worn flip flops to church before.
24. Sweet tea can be served at any meal.
25. An alligator once walked through your neighborhood.
26. You smirk when a game show's 'Grand Prize' is a trip or cruise to Florida.
27. You measure distance in minutes.
28. You have a drawer full of bathing suits, and one sweatshirt.
29. You get annoyed at the tourists who feed seagulls.
30. A mountain is any hill 100 feet above sea level.
32. You think everyone from a bigger city has a northern accent.
33. You know the four seasons really are: hurricane season, love bug season, tourist season and summer.
34. It's not soda, cola, or pop. it's coke, regardless of brand or flavor: 'What kinda coke you want?'
35. Anything under 95 is just warm.
36. You've hosted a hurricane party.
37. You go to a theme park for an afternoon, and know when to get on the best rides. (Space Mountain during the Electric Light Parade!)
38. You understand the futility of exterminating cockroaches.
39. You can pronounce Okeechobee, Kissimmee, Ichnatucknee and Withlacoochee.
40. You understand why it's better to have a friend with a boat, than owning a boat yourself.
41. Bumper stickers on the pickup in front of you include: various fish, NRA, NASCAR, Go Gators, and a confederate flag.
42. You were 5 before you realized they made houses without pools.
43. You were 25 when you first met someone who couldn't swim.
44. You've worn shorts and used the A/C on Christmas.
45. You recognize Miami-Dade as 'Northern Cuba'.
46. You are on a first name basis with the Hurricane list. They aren't Hurricane Charley, Hurricane Frances...but Charley, Frances, Ivan and Jeanne.

(Blogging) Vacation

Sorry I've been sorta MIA as of late. I have no good reason other than, well, I haven't really wanted to, haha. It's certainly not for a lack of blogging fodder. I've had quite a few blog-worthy events over the last few weeks, as well as a few old stories I still owe you from before. Maybe soon I'll be back on the ball.

I actually have a post saved that I started last week, but was feeling uninspired halfway through and quit, haha.

Anyway...it's quite late now and I've had a long, but productive Saturday. So now I'm gonna go pass out. :) See ya soon!!

(Oh yeah...TV is finally coming back on. Yay!!! Perhaps this will call for the the resurgence of "What's in Mark's DVR?" Well...maybe if I get all those other thousands of posts out of the way first.)

Bring it!

Sorry kids, I just needed to hear this song. And, well, it's my blog, so you get to hear it too!

I recommend turning it up and singing along really loudly...even if you're at work. That always helps me. Oh, and if you can manage to have it playing and sing along while you're in the shower, the water cascading down you adds a very dramatic effect.

Anyway, this has pretty much been my last year and a half or so. But I haven't lost all my fight yet...so bring it on!

Best friends...EVER!! (Only Mark!)

Oh geez...ready for another Only Mark story? This one's an instant classic for ya!

Yesterday evening I was getting ready to go meet a friend of mine down at the park for a run. It was about an hour before I had to meet him, so I planned to run some errands and was getting my stuff together. Then it came time to find my keys. I looked in all the usual places - the table by the door, kitchen counter, dining room table, dresser, even in the lock of my door in case I had left them hanging in the deadbolt - but they were no where to be found!

So I stopped myself for a moment and thought, when was the last time you saw your keys? I then realized that I hadn't actually left the house to drive anywhere since coming home from the horse race on Saturday (sad, I know, but I was resting/cleaning), so it's entirely possible they were where ever I left them after that. Then I suddenly remembered that they had been in the back seat of my friend's car, coming home from the horse race on Saturday. I rode back from the race with someone else and used the spare house key that another friend had to get back into my house, since we beat the friend with my keys home. Uh oh!

First I call the friend who may or may not have the keys, but get no answer so I send her a text that says

"Ahh! Possible crisis. Please call me ASAP!"

So then I call the friend I'm supposed to meet at the park and tell him that I'm just going to have to run around the neighborhood unless he wants to come pick me up. He offers to pick me up, so the run is back on. Meanwhile, the friend with the keys calls back and I tell her what's up. The conversation goes something like this:

Friend: Hey, what's up?
Me: I'm going to ask you a question and I REALLY hope the answer is no.
Friend:...okay?
Me: Are my keys in your backseat?
Friend: Oh...I hope that answer is no. Hold on, I'm pulling into my apartment complex now, I'll check.
Me: Okay. I think they were in the cup holder in the armrest in your back seat. I'm not 100% sure if I took them out of there or not.
Friend: Well, let's see...the arm rest is folded up and...yes, your keys are in it.

Yeah, apparently someone in the back seat had folded up the arm rest with my keys still in it, thus causing no one to notice them on Saturday. Why is this a big deal? I mean, why can't I just pop over to the friend's house to pick up the keys? Well...this particular friend is the one who lives in Greenville that I went to visit at the end of February. For all you non-South Carolinians out there, Greenville is about 100 miles from me. This is no quick trip across town. Now I'm stuck in my house, while the only set of keys to my car is 100 miles away. Outstanding!

Ordinarily I would have just told the friend to overnight the keys to me and I would have stayed holed up in the house for another day...but, I had a job interview scheduled this morning. And with Columbia having no real public transit, I thought showing up to a job interview in a cab would be a bit...well, ghetto, haha. I was racking my brain trying to think of anyone I knew who might be free to take me to the interview or had an extra car I could borrow, but was coming up empty. Thankfully, my friend is the best ever! This how the rest of the conversation went:

Friend: Okay, well do you have anywhere important you need to be tonight?
Me: No. I mean, I'm about to go running, but someone's picking me up for that. The problem is I have that interview at 11:00 tomorrow morning.
Friend: Alright, well I have a massage scheduled at 6:00, but I can hit the road after that.
Me: (purely being polite) Oh, well you don't have to drive all the way down here, I'm sure I can work something out.
Friend: No, no, no! I can come down tonight and give them to you. I've done stuff like this before. I understand!
Me: Seriously? You are the best friend ever. When you get here, I'm buying you dinner or something. Are you sure you don't mind?
Friend: Yeah, no, it's cool. Is it okay if I go to my massage first and then come down after that?
Me: Haha, yeah, I think that's okay.

See, I love it. Completely unprompted, without even hinting, my friend volunteers to spend her entire evening driving a total of 200 miles just to bring me my keys (well, and my CD case which was also left in her back seat, but she was going to mail that anyway, despite my protest).

But that's not the end...

My running friend shows up to take me to the park and asks about the status of my keys. I tell him that Greenville Friend is driving down that evening to drop them off and, without missing a beat, he says "Oh, she doesn't have to drive all the way down. After we run I'll take you up there and we can meet her halfway." Seriously?! I have the best friends in the whole world! What I love best about this is that, if I were ever to receive a call from a friend saying I had their keys or they needed my help or whatever, I would immediately be on the road no matter what time of day or night, no questions asked. So the fact that I have friends who are willing to do the same for me is so amazing and comforting!

But yeah...definitely an Only Mark instant classic. Not only did I leave my only car key in someone else's car, not only did those keys end up 100 miles away leaving me stranded in my house, but it took me 2 days to realize this, haha! Who Else But Mark?!