Pardon my French, but....

..."Does my ass look like the damn K-Mart?"

That is actually what I said after hanging up the phone this afternoon. Honestly...some of our residents at work are insane with their demands. They seem to mistake the Leasing Office at The Crazy Farm with the Concierge Desk at the Ritz Carlton New York.

For instance, one of our particularly high maintenance residents called in one weekend with an "emergency" maintenance request and asked me to call in the on-call maintenance tech (who lives a half hour away) to fix the problem. What was so urgent that it couldn't wait until Monday? His icemaker didn't work and he said "This is very important. We use a lot of ice." hahaha...apparently the 3/4 mile drive to the gas station to buy a bag of ice for the weekend was out of the question.

In another instance a couple weeks ago I had this phone conversation with a resident:

Me: Thank you for calling The Crazy Farm. this is Mark. How can I help you?
Caller: Hi, I'm a resident here and I was just wondering...when does daylight savings time change?
Me: ........... What?
Caller: Daylight savings time. Does that change this weekend?
Me: No.
Caller: Oh, I thought that was in October sometime. When is that?
Me: Ummmm....I don't know. They moved it back this year........Hang on, lemme ask.
Me: (randomly shouting out to the entire office) When is the time change?
Random person yelling back: (Mama Bear I think) Halloween weekend.
Me: (on the phone) Halloween weekend.
Caller: Oh, okay. I thought it was sooner. Thanks!
Me: (after hanging up) Do these people not have Google?

Sometimes I don't understand what goes through people's heads when calling us. As though we just sit there waiting to do everything for them. And that leads me to the reason for today's outburst. Here's how the call went:

Me: Thank you for calling The Crazy Farm. This is Mark. How can I help you?
Caller: Hi. I'm a resident there and I was wondering if you had any AA batteries up in the office I could come get from you.
Me:..................
Me: Forrrrrrrrrrrrr?? (thinking perhaps his smoke detector or other necessary item might need batteries for which we'd be responsible...despite the fact that I think all of our smoke detectors are hard-wired)
Caller: Oh, I just have a remote for a device that needs batteries and didn't know if you might have some I could get.
Me:.......... Uh, no. We don't have any.
Caller: Oh, okay. Thank you.
Me: ( Hanging up the phone and announcing to the office staff around me) Does my ass look like the damn K-Mart?

Now, keep in mind when I tell you this...it's not exactly like our community is out in the boondocks miles away from modern conveniences for our residents. No, quite the contrary. In about 3.4 miles this resident could have driven his behind to Target, Wal-Mart, Publix, Lowe's, or Kroger. And In fewer than 2 miles he had his choice of a CVS, Walgreens, and any of 3 gas stations, among other stores. But no...he calls the leasing office to see if we have any for him. Seriously???!!! You can tell it was a full moon!