Lame Cop Out Post

Alright...I recognize this isn't a real post. But, for some reason, I'm still not feeling like getting around to writing about all the life I've been living lately. Sorry...I guess I'll just have to write a big summary post for you soon to cover it all at once.

In the meantime, I thought I'd keep you entertained with this cop-out post. Someone sent me this list as an e-mail forward this week (FYI...I don't like e-mail forwards, so don't let this give you any ideas) and I thought I'd share it with you. It's one of those "You know you are.......if..." lists that people like to make. This one is "You know you live in Florida if..." or something like that. I guess overall it's fairly accurate. Some are pretty funny, some are definitely a uniqueness to FL (#14, #26), while others are probably a little more general for other places as well (#24, #34). Some of these items seem to tailor this list more specifically to the central Florida area where I'm from (#37, #41), while others just don't seem to make much sense for anywhere (#13, #32).

Anyway...I've realized (when I do post) so much of this blog has become more about the boringness of my day to day life and I want to begin adding in some of the fun nuances and differences between life in FL and life here in the South. Maybe I'll dig up a list of the South to sort of compare and contrast, haha. Well...here's the list...those of you from Florida, feel free to add your comments and thoughts! :)


1. Socks are only for bowling.
2. You never use an umbrella because you know the rain will be over in five minutes.
3. A good parking place has nothing to do with distance from the store, but everything to do with shade.
4. Your winter coat is made of denim.
5. You can tell the difference between fire ant bites and mosquito bites.
6. You're younger than thirty but some of your friends are over 65.
7. Anything under 70 is chilly.
8. You've driven through Yeehaw Junction.
9. You could swim before you could read.
10. You have to drive north to get to The South.
11. You know that no other grocery store can compare to Publix.
12. Every other house in your neighborhood had blue roofs in 2004-2005.
13. You've gotten out of school early on Halloween to trick or treat before it got dark.
14. You know that anything under a Category 3 just isn't worth waking up for.
15. You dread love bug season.
16. You know what a snowbird is and when they'll leave.
17. You think a six-foot alligator is actually pretty average.
18. You were twelve before you ever saw snow, or you still haven't.
19. 'Down South' means Key West.
20. You think New York drivers licenses should only be valid in New York.
21. Flip-flops are everyday wear.
22. Shoes are for business meetings and church,
23. but you HAVE worn flip flops to church before.
24. Sweet tea can be served at any meal.
25. An alligator once walked through your neighborhood.
26. You smirk when a game show's 'Grand Prize' is a trip or cruise to Florida.
27. You measure distance in minutes.
28. You have a drawer full of bathing suits, and one sweatshirt.
29. You get annoyed at the tourists who feed seagulls.
30. A mountain is any hill 100 feet above sea level.
32. You think everyone from a bigger city has a northern accent.
33. You know the four seasons really are: hurricane season, love bug season, tourist season and summer.
34. It's not soda, cola, or pop. it's coke, regardless of brand or flavor: 'What kinda coke you want?'
35. Anything under 95 is just warm.
36. You've hosted a hurricane party.
37. You go to a theme park for an afternoon, and know when to get on the best rides. (Space Mountain during the Electric Light Parade!)
38. You understand the futility of exterminating cockroaches.
39. You can pronounce Okeechobee, Kissimmee, Ichnatucknee and Withlacoochee.
40. You understand why it's better to have a friend with a boat, than owning a boat yourself.
41. Bumper stickers on the pickup in front of you include: various fish, NRA, NASCAR, Go Gators, and a confederate flag.
42. You were 5 before you realized they made houses without pools.
43. You were 25 when you first met someone who couldn't swim.
44. You've worn shorts and used the A/C on Christmas.
45. You recognize Miami-Dade as 'Northern Cuba'.
46. You are on a first name basis with the Hurricane list. They aren't Hurricane Charley, Hurricane Frances...but Charley, Frances, Ivan and Jeanne.

(Blogging) Vacation

Sorry I've been sorta MIA as of late. I have no good reason other than, well, I haven't really wanted to, haha. It's certainly not for a lack of blogging fodder. I've had quite a few blog-worthy events over the last few weeks, as well as a few old stories I still owe you from before. Maybe soon I'll be back on the ball.

I actually have a post saved that I started last week, but was feeling uninspired halfway through and quit, haha.

Anyway...it's quite late now and I've had a long, but productive Saturday. So now I'm gonna go pass out. :) See ya soon!!

(Oh yeah...TV is finally coming back on. Yay!!! Perhaps this will call for the the resurgence of "What's in Mark's DVR?" Well...maybe if I get all those other thousands of posts out of the way first.)

Bring it!

Sorry kids, I just needed to hear this song. And, well, it's my blog, so you get to hear it too!

I recommend turning it up and singing along really loudly...even if you're at work. That always helps me. Oh, and if you can manage to have it playing and sing along while you're in the shower, the water cascading down you adds a very dramatic effect.

Anyway, this has pretty much been my last year and a half or so. But I haven't lost all my fight yet...so bring it on!

Best friends...EVER!! (Only Mark!)

Oh geez...ready for another Only Mark story? This one's an instant classic for ya!

Yesterday evening I was getting ready to go meet a friend of mine down at the park for a run. It was about an hour before I had to meet him, so I planned to run some errands and was getting my stuff together. Then it came time to find my keys. I looked in all the usual places - the table by the door, kitchen counter, dining room table, dresser, even in the lock of my door in case I had left them hanging in the deadbolt - but they were no where to be found!

So I stopped myself for a moment and thought, when was the last time you saw your keys? I then realized that I hadn't actually left the house to drive anywhere since coming home from the horse race on Saturday (sad, I know, but I was resting/cleaning), so it's entirely possible they were where ever I left them after that. Then I suddenly remembered that they had been in the back seat of my friend's car, coming home from the horse race on Saturday. I rode back from the race with someone else and used the spare house key that another friend had to get back into my house, since we beat the friend with my keys home. Uh oh!

First I call the friend who may or may not have the keys, but get no answer so I send her a text that says

"Ahh! Possible crisis. Please call me ASAP!"

So then I call the friend I'm supposed to meet at the park and tell him that I'm just going to have to run around the neighborhood unless he wants to come pick me up. He offers to pick me up, so the run is back on. Meanwhile, the friend with the keys calls back and I tell her what's up. The conversation goes something like this:

Friend: Hey, what's up?
Me: I'm going to ask you a question and I REALLY hope the answer is no.
Friend:...okay?
Me: Are my keys in your backseat?
Friend: Oh...I hope that answer is no. Hold on, I'm pulling into my apartment complex now, I'll check.
Me: Okay. I think they were in the cup holder in the armrest in your back seat. I'm not 100% sure if I took them out of there or not.
Friend: Well, let's see...the arm rest is folded up and...yes, your keys are in it.

Yeah, apparently someone in the back seat had folded up the arm rest with my keys still in it, thus causing no one to notice them on Saturday. Why is this a big deal? I mean, why can't I just pop over to the friend's house to pick up the keys? Well...this particular friend is the one who lives in Greenville that I went to visit at the end of February. For all you non-South Carolinians out there, Greenville is about 100 miles from me. This is no quick trip across town. Now I'm stuck in my house, while the only set of keys to my car is 100 miles away. Outstanding!

Ordinarily I would have just told the friend to overnight the keys to me and I would have stayed holed up in the house for another day...but, I had a job interview scheduled this morning. And with Columbia having no real public transit, I thought showing up to a job interview in a cab would be a bit...well, ghetto, haha. I was racking my brain trying to think of anyone I knew who might be free to take me to the interview or had an extra car I could borrow, but was coming up empty. Thankfully, my friend is the best ever! This how the rest of the conversation went:

Friend: Okay, well do you have anywhere important you need to be tonight?
Me: No. I mean, I'm about to go running, but someone's picking me up for that. The problem is I have that interview at 11:00 tomorrow morning.
Friend: Alright, well I have a massage scheduled at 6:00, but I can hit the road after that.
Me: (purely being polite) Oh, well you don't have to drive all the way down here, I'm sure I can work something out.
Friend: No, no, no! I can come down tonight and give them to you. I've done stuff like this before. I understand!
Me: Seriously? You are the best friend ever. When you get here, I'm buying you dinner or something. Are you sure you don't mind?
Friend: Yeah, no, it's cool. Is it okay if I go to my massage first and then come down after that?
Me: Haha, yeah, I think that's okay.

See, I love it. Completely unprompted, without even hinting, my friend volunteers to spend her entire evening driving a total of 200 miles just to bring me my keys (well, and my CD case which was also left in her back seat, but she was going to mail that anyway, despite my protest).

But that's not the end...

My running friend shows up to take me to the park and asks about the status of my keys. I tell him that Greenville Friend is driving down that evening to drop them off and, without missing a beat, he says "Oh, she doesn't have to drive all the way down. After we run I'll take you up there and we can meet her halfway." Seriously?! I have the best friends in the whole world! What I love best about this is that, if I were ever to receive a call from a friend saying I had their keys or they needed my help or whatever, I would immediately be on the road no matter what time of day or night, no questions asked. So the fact that I have friends who are willing to do the same for me is so amazing and comforting!

But yeah...definitely an Only Mark instant classic. Not only did I leave my only car key in someone else's car, not only did those keys end up 100 miles away leaving me stranded in my house, but it took me 2 days to realize this, haha! Who Else But Mark?!